Aisling's Decluttering Journal
20 April - 15 May 2003

"For a moment, it was as if someone had turned on all the lights..." Living with memory loss, as I have since a car accident in 1987, I sometimes forget what life was like, before... when I had wonderful antiques that I loved. When I delighted in going to auctions and yard sales, always one step ahead of the decorators' trends.

Again, I don't want to make this "all his fault," because I was very aware of what I was giving up, each time. But, after the first time, it became a little easier to let things go as we moved & moved & moved.

With the exception of the year and a half in Illinois, I've loved every place that we lived. And even the Illinois time was important for what each of my children got from it. And yes, I was alone in many ways, but I was also mid-process, learning to find myself again.

The point is, I don't want this to be a "look at what he did to me," rant. That's not it at all. But, it's a pause to see where I was years ago, at the early phase of the compromises, and... if I'd known that I'd land in this place now, would I have done things differently? I don't know.

I do know that what I'm going to now, is vastly better than I believed possible when I was making the compromises. And, maybe I had to land here, to be able to get to what comes next.

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