Aisling's Decluttering Journal
20 April - 15 May 2003

"...flow can exist in my life." I get to the end of this journal, and in a way I feel as if a lot of it reads like a whine. Or it's redundant. Or both.

But, putting this all in one journal, and processing through it at once... this was important. And, having it on paper where I can read it and re-read it (in case I forget--which, with memory loss, I might) is also vital.

The point is, I'm moving towards flow. Cognitively choosing to keep moving forward, and into a frame of mind where things are easy. And, in my life, many things have been easy, and will become even easier now.

I got lost in the struggle. To me, the context is the style of my daily life, in a way. When I feel loved & encouraged, everything seems rosier.

I know that this is still about external cues, in a way, but it took me a long time to reach this point where I negated my inner voice & cues. It may take me awhile to recover them, and grow strong in my self. But, I was there once, and let it go a little at a time, in favor of what I thought was security.

I'm back on my own path... or about to step onto it more fully, I suppose.

As the next page says, it is never "the end."

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